Post birth story.

I don't really know where to begin with this post. I really wish I didn't have anything else to write other then we lived happily ever after with our cute little baby. Well I'll just start with they wheeled me out of I guess what you could call a post surgery room and the first person I saw was my sweet husband and he grabbed my hand and walked beside me, followed by my mom and M-I-L. It was so nice to see them. I can't imagine how I would've gotten thru all this without their support and encouragement. I usually went to Dr's appointments by myself and I can't imagine if that had been the situation that day. There wouldn't have been anytime for them to come and be by my side before I went in. If it had happened the week before at my appointment Matt would've still been in rexburg and would've had to drive 8 hours to get to us.
Anyway, I get into my room and ask my mom how long I'll be in the hospital. She tells me I'll likely be there till Friday. My mind was having a hard time wrapping around spending 3 days in the hospital with my baby not at home with her. I just wanted our little family lives to start, not be delayed. They had to take Sienna to the NICU as she didn't cry when they took her out of the uterus and was having a hard time getting the fluids out of her lungs. So she wasn't able to be in my room with me yet, which was really hard for me cause I just wanted to see her and hold her but because of the C-section I wasn't able to leave my bed quite yet. Finally at about 6:00 they helped me out of my bed and into a wheelchair.
Sidebar- I NEVER want to have a c-section again. I am praying hard that my scar heals really nicely because I might never want to have kids again. It has been so painful getting in and out of bed or the car. Trying to reach things or sit up in bed is a lot longer process then it used to be. Matt just laughs at me half the time because I do things so slowly or look like a grandma as I walk around hunched over and so slow. Okay, back to the story.
I finally got to see my baby in the flesh and she was so beautiful. It was kind of a surreal experience. I have been imagining my whole life what my baby would look like. And there she was just sleeping in a little incubator. She has so many funny things about her. She has the weirdest toes in the world.

Exhibit A

  I don't have to force my finger in between her big toe. It fits comfortably and I think she actually enjoys it. The nurses said they noticed she likes to lock her toes together and that is likely how come they are spaced so far apart because she did it all the time in the womb.

She has fingers for toes. The jokes around my house are her being able to play the piano not with her fingers but with her toes or that she will probably be able to palm a basketball with them. I think they are pretty cute though.
She also had a mullet or cul-de-sac for hair. Her hair is SO long in the back. Like at least an inch to an inch and a half long. It gets a little shorter towards her ears but still long, and then she has like nothing on top. We think it makes her look like a grandpa.

After Matt and I just spent some time with her we began alternating family members to come see her as only 2 people can be in with her at a time. It was fun to show her off to them and hear all the oohhhs and ahhhs over how cute she is. It was hard though just be able to reach my hand thru a little hole and touch her. I just wanted to wrap her up in my arms and smother her in kisses and love.

Later that night at about 10 I was ready for bed and Matt asked if it was okay if he went back to spend time with Sienna. So he left and I fell asleep. About an hour later Matt came back into the room and his face seemed a little ashen. I asked what was wrong and he said nothing, but then I noticed he was followed by another woman and that's when I knew he was lying. She sat down and explained to us that the reason why she still has fluids in her lungs and why they need to keep suctioning it out is because her esophagus isn't fully developed. Her esophagus stops at some point and loops back up, then the other part of it that is connected to her stomach, is connected to her trachea. So they needed to take her to the Alberta's Children hospital so that they could perform surgery on her. She would be I. The hospital for 1 month minimum 3 months maximum.

My heart dropped. I thought it was bad enough not being able to go home with her for a couple of days. Now I was being told it could be a couple months. Definitely not what I had expected. Matt helped me out of bed and wheeled me to the NICU so I could spend some more time with her. Sadly I had taken a narcotic pain pill an hour before so I was really tired and ready to be back in bed after 30 mins. A nurse came into our room and told us that the ambulance was here for her and that they would bring her by our room so we could say goodbye. 

To me she looks sooo sad in this picture. I'd like to think she knew she was leaving us and it made her as sad as we were to see her go. I still get teary-eyed writing about this moment! 

The next day Matt traveled to Calgary so at least one of us could be with her and he could give her a blessing before surgery. So that was her first day of life. I will continue this story later...