Friday, September 14, 2012

Everything has brought you to this moment.

I feel like my last few blogs have been really random and weird.
So what's one more.
This one has a slightly spiritual tone to it as well.

Yesterday I went to the temple, at 5:45 in the morning! 
So exhausted afterwards. I had a nap at 8:15 and then again at 3:30.
But that's besides the point.
In the temple we had a little spiritual thought and he said how everything we had done in our life brought us to this moment in the temple. He talked about how the choices we make each day will affect where we end up and so forth.
I really liked that idea. Just thinking about the fact that I could only be at the temple because I had kept myself worthy. One wrong choice and I might not be there.

Fast forward to today.
I had just kind of a crazy weird conversation with a guy.
I was getting out of the gym and he was walking by and we made eye contact and so I said hello.
Now I'm usually not one to say hi first or anything but honestly I just had the impression that I needed to say hi.
He took out his headphones and asked me how I was doing and then I asked him in return...
(breaking it down into conversation form makes it a lot easier to follow and less wordy)
Boy: Not good at all actually.
Me: Oh really? Just having a hard day.
Boy: (Big sigh and cracking voice) yah you could say that.
Me: (A little unsure if he's being serious) Life's just kind of hard huh?
Boy: Mmhmm.
Me: Well are you okay?
Boy: I don't even know. I don't know what to do. (Voice still cracking like he's about to cry)
Inside my head I'm thinking what if this boy was planning on going home to commit suicide? 
Me: Can I do anything to help you. Do you want to talk about it?
Boy: No it's okay I'll be fine.
So we just start walking and I ask him where he's from and what semester this is.
Boy: Weren't you going somewhere before?
Me: Well ya, I was going to go change but I don't mind talking with you for awhile.
So we just chat a little while longer about nothing important.
Me: Well I do need to go now actually
Boy: Okay. Really, thanks so much for talking to me. I really appreciate it.
Me: No problem. Hang in there. It gets better I promise (I feel like a hallmark card or something?)

And we go our separate ways. Now this boy has been on my mind for the rest of the day. I can't stop thinking about how everything I did that day led me to that moment. Stopping and talking to my professor, talking to Travis Hartley and Echo before the gym, and then Kendrick after. And how if I wouldn't have ran into them, I wouldn't have ran into that boy. And how if I hadn't gone to the temple I wouldn't have thought about this whole thing. I can't help but wonder if I actually did anything today to make that boys life better. What if I stopped him from doing something drastic, maybe not today, but later? Maybe I didn't do anything. I really feel as though the spirit impressed me to say hello to him, cause I normally wouldn't have. I'm grateful I followed it even though I don't know what good it did. But I like to think I did something or else it all wouldn't have happened right?
I don't know. I think I'm always going to think about the what if's with him and wonder if he's okay.

This whole experience just got me thinking about the difference we might make in a persons life.
A simple smile and a hello could instantly change someone's outlook on that day.
Taking time from our hectic schedule to just talk to someone and be interested in their life, might save their life. We really have no idea the impact we might make on a person's life.


Ranae Broadhead said...

wow chan.... your amazing

Kristen said...

Another fascinating post! Thanks for sharing this experience. It kinda reminds me of a post you wrote a year or two ago about paying more attention to how we make people feel about themselves and just in general. To be honest, that "how we make people feel" post has quite literally changed how I interact with people, and I have a feeling this post of yours is going to have another big impact on my life. You're awesome!!